I wish.

I wish I can just throw like, a cup or like, a glass thing.

Need to vent my anger and frustration out.
Before it kills me inside.

Doesn't help that I don't get to talk much.

ARGH.
I shall just leave it. Nothing much I can do really.
It's up to life.

Blk 85.

It was Ba-chor night tonight.
There were chicken wings... Satay... Ba-chor mee... Stingray... Oyster omelette... Carrot cake... Ah balling, which I don't like.

Oh well. But it was FUN!

Met grace today after school. She got me a pretty red daisy. Happy happy.

I wanna go to Vivocity again soon. The wading pool place is very peaceful. I like... Heheheh.

Shocker monday.

Well, first and foremost, my dad's actually debt-free now. And interestingly, he's collecting money back from the people who owed him. HMMMM. I never bothered to find out about whatever he's doing.

Oh, and yes, I think he's turning Buddhist or something. I saw this string of beads he put on mom's bedroom door. Like, WTH.

And for the FIRST freakin time in the last decade, he gave me some money to spend. Like, not some some, like very some. Not in the thousands figures la, but yea. OMG. Shocker.

Coincidentally, I got mom to get me a new pair of specs. Puma specs. Pretty cool stuff. At first I was checking out the lacoste ones, but the puma one just looks SOOO nice... And sporty. So yay. Can't wait to get my hands on it on Friday.

Pretty obvious that my mom's delirious abt him being back in Singapore. Well, it's reasonable. I mean, having a non-existent husband for almost a decade or something. Then out of nowhere, he appears back into the the picture.

Oh yeah, he's abstaining from pork. Maybe he's turning Halal. Like, muslim.
Sigh.
Why does he have to make EVERYTHING so bloody complicated?!

Okay, I'm exhausted from school and family for today. Need to sleep and recharge before I completely burn out.

Still taking things easy as they come along. I'm more at peace for now. Hopefully this feeling will stay on.

OH OH OH! Hillsongs conference. Apparently mom says dad wants to bring granny to aussie to visit my cousin. Then, from there, I'll go for Hillsongs. And I think I'll want to visit Clement before going back. Here's the down side, I've to meet up with my family again to go back. Sigh. I wanna like, try taking a plane back myself. Like, just hook up with a total stranger and just talk and talk and talk... Till the plane lands in Singapore. Oh well, don't wanna think too much abt this for now. Everything's so freakin' tentative.

One thing's for sure: Dec is SO gonna rock this year. Woohoo! Can't wait.
Time really passed so quickly for the past few months. Many many many things happened.

Okay, getting random. I need my sleep.

Dear Fab,

Someone just told me,
"It's never easy when two people get together, because we all have different expectations and opinions about issues. And one aspect of being a couple is to sort them out. After that, the relationship will just grow to become a lot stronger."

Well, the words happened to dawn upon me like some kind of enlightenment. :)

In reality, it has only been two weeks since you've left, but it feels like a million decades to me.
Every little thing I see down the road just reminds me of you. I smile because of the happy memories. But it's a sad smile, because you're not here with me anymore.

I'm sorry for the earlier bitch-fit, and I'm terribly thankful that you kept the promise which you made right before you left.

That's why I decided to post this up, just for you.

I can't promise you that I'll be perfectly fine with anything (bad in particular) that is going to happen in the future. You know it yourself; it is going to be a long and arduous way ahead before you finally settle down in Singapore.
But I love you.
Nothing else matters right?

I really can't wait to see you again in Christmas. It'll be the best Christmas gift yet.


Missing you,
Di

Deers are messengers of God.

Or so the people in heroes say.
Haha.

Reminds me of Fabian's As The Deer interpretative dance.

I'm pretty screwed up this week.

Have an essay to START writing and the deadline's Monday. About 2000 words. Not so bad right. At least I got my bullet points out. OKAY, I've to STOP being so complacent.

Have a presentation to give today... At 7 pm. And I'm staying up because I've to do some readings about marsony walls and construction. DAMN.

What else do I have to do.

Oh yes, a marketing proposal for Nutri-something.
And I need to find more contacts.
But this I'll leave it to next week. Studies first, then CCA.

OMG.
I've to write a song too. Fun fun. Stay close to Him; I'm trying.

BUSY BUSY BUSY BUSY.

And I'm exhausted. Like, mentally. School's so gruelling. And it's only the FIRST sem, for freak's sake. I need a holiday.

Somehow there's this 'itching' at the back of my mind. Like, I don't feel at peace when I've so many things to settle and everything's like... Half done and half not done, that kinda thing.
Argh.

I need to exercise. Or like, swim or tan at the very least. Falling sick.
And I have to get over it. Can't keep worrying about this and that; I can't do anything about em anyway. SIGH.
I wonder how Audrey does it. Haha. Ah well. Go figure.