Let go and let God.

How hard it is to do that really.
I cannot stand the possibility of not being able to go learn more at the conference.
I've put in so much effort to plan beforehand.
And I will do anything (morally upright) to go.

But yes, God's right. Honour your parents.
BUT I still hope somehow God speaks to them and make them wake up their idea.

Anyway. I just realised Joey's back in Melbourne. I didn't even meet up with her for lunch. :(:(:( I feel bad. Sorry Joey.

And recess week didn't feel like a recess week. No break. Just project meetings and work and more project meetings. I seriously hope I do well this semester. Despite the slight hiccup (the period of sickness). Man, I was getting the momentum. Now I gotta start the engine running again.

Supper at Blk 85 was gooooooood. But I think I should stop supper-ing before I start putting on weight again. Haha!

He is definitely not a man of God.

The reason why I don't feel safe at home. I knew it. He is not right. There's something wrong with him.

Right now, I'm on the verge of a war with them. I just don't understand why it has to come to this.

"Since you can't find anyone from church to go with you to Hillsong Conference, your dad said that you can't go for Hillsong... No big deal, I'll just pay you back for the ticket."

And here I am, really believing their promise that if I save up myself I can go for the Hillsong Conference. They broke their promise. Yet again. I am utterly crushed and disappointed.

HE just comes up with countless STUPID reasons to stop me from going to the conference. And SHE tells me only after months of planning, despite my constant information updates.

They don't know me. They don't trust me.
It's not about gaining trust. Because I will never get it. Because I don't deserve it.
And thus, I know this. That they don't love me.

Don't say that I'm just being childish. Because you don't know them for who they really are. Their home and church behaviour are like the north and south poles. So don't ever tell me that I need to gain their trust. I have tried. My hardest. It's their problem now. No matter how much I try to improve, they will never get it.

My parents don't know me.
Even when I am turning 22.
Even when I try to be filial or neutral at least, with him.

Please get me out of this God. Just send me to Zimbabwe or Africa or something. Send me away from the family of denial.

Happy birthday Wayno bueno!

It's recess week.

Time to catch up with school work!
WORK WORK WORK!

Anyway, it was awesome having Ps Matt Fielder in CMC. Awesome sermon.

Can't wait for July. Muahahahahahahahahaha!
It's just brain-wrecking to figure out accomodation. If De Xin and her friend are going to Melbourne as well, then it should be more convenient. It's hard to find accomodation if only Wayne and I are going alone. Like, staying in separate houses. Then we have to set a time to meet every single morning for a week. So weird. Not even sure how it's going to work, if the people over there are having holidays.

Ah heck. I'm sure God has a good plan at the end. I'll just get this semester over and done with first. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let me do well, God.
Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

My stomach is healed!

The night I prayed at Uncle Peter's clinic.

"... If I'm healed, I'll go. And stand in front of the people during Healing service. And tell them you healed me..."

OMG.
I was suddenly so confident about being healed and going up on-stage to talk it out for God.

Thinking about it now. OMG. Gives me the jitters.

Anyway. I've a low haemoglobin count. Which explains my pale skin complexion. Nothing to do with "you haven't been resting enough...".

AH HA! It's not about resting. It's about malnutrition. YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. I must eat more meat.
Gimme meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet.

Wahahahaha.

My stomach's killing me.

Think I ate too much junk/fast food during the childhood period.
Or maybe it's because I hardly exercise these days.

Darn man. Something's majorly wrong with my stomach.
I think. I'm going to be like those people (usually powerful CEOs and whatever people) seen in Channel 8 drama series, who initially 'clutch' their stomachs with a slightly pained expression, then it gradually becomes so serious that they die from stomach cancer or something. All because of stress. Of some other simple reason like over-tiredness.

Dying from stomach cancer is not a good way to leave the world. That's my conclusion of the day.

Alright back to work.

Projects projects projects.

Now that they're more realistic, they're more interesting. And fun.

But I think the lecturers we have this semester are quite weird. It's an assorted variety. Haha.
Must say that I'm finally beginning to understand why we learn the things we learn. It's funny how I observe construction sites more these days. And to name all the things on-site, most of them for now, makes me feel professional. HAHAHAHA.

Jokes aside, I can actually see myself doing this kinda stuff. And thank goodness, I'm not going to work as a bulb-fixer. I can choose to manage people who fix and install lighting, not bulbs, and that's just one of the many things they've to do. Under the area called Facilities Management.

This is meant to rub back into the many faces of people who made fun of my course. Haha.

Most importantly, I thank God for my rejected business degree applications. I've come a pretty long way. Still got miles to go. :) Exciting.

:(

I think I just lost a friend. Because of some misunderstanding. And a series of events earlier. Sigh.

Odd day.

Something irritating and something amazing happened yesterday. As in Sunday.
Yurp.
Nevertheless. I still thank Him. Especially for the amazing thing. It's like. WOW.