Okay, good news first. Prayed really hard before this morning's test. And I aced it to some extent. Well, definitely not by my ability, considering I only studied the morning itself for like, less than 2 hours. So yeah, definitely by God's grace.
I hate it whenever night comes. Cause I tend to get a lil down and emo and tired whenever the clock strikes 8 and beyond.
Was just talking to Andy (mentor from YMLC. Yes, I'm still in contact with some YMLC people. Miraculously.) about prayer requests.
And I just realised the pretty unreasonable circumstances I've been put under recently.
During the weekend, there wasn't a single buzz from him, because he's just really busy.
But not even an sms? It doesn't take more than a minute really. Like, a 30-cents sms shouldn't hurt right, since you can call your friends every now and then just to ask if they're at the lecture hall you're in. Is it really a lot to ask for? Am I really being the unreasonable one here?
I can empathize with the fact that since everything may still seem new and foreign, the person needs time to adjust and all. And Andy constantly reminds me that. Haha. :)
But it seems like there's no space for me in his life. And that really scares me. Is this how it's going to be like for the next three years when he's over there? How long more is he going to act so nonchalant about things? How long more can I take this?
I don't know if whatever I write here and now is fair to him. But since we won't be able to talk anytime soon (and it seems like it's going to stay like this for quite a long time), I guess I'm left to make my own conclusions. I wished there was somewhere else I can just vent my anger at, so I can just stop barfing everything here all the time.
I'd hate for him to start thinking that I'm trying to be all self-pitiful to get his attention and all that. Cause the only reason why I'm writing all these down's to just try to pull everything out from my mind. And maybe, just maybe, I'll feel better about things. After looking at whatever I wrote, I'm supposed to scold myself, "Why're you so worried?! Cut him some slack. You know you're just making things worse for him. Just stop being stuck on him. Get on with life, will ya."
Colin and Mark are right. He's a free bird.
