Back to Monday... again.

I think it's time for me to switch jobs. Those old female colleagues are getting too... UGH. I mean, like, I do my job well. AND I do THEIR work(Sheyha la. Always make me do accounts for her. Idert.) sometimes. But some of them just can't learn to appreciate; I think they're taking me for granted. GOOD. When I leave, they all are gonna suffer and die. Muahahaha.

Right.

ANYWAY...

The weekend was pretty cool. :)
I thought I was going to be feeling sorta miserable because of the rough time I had during the weekday period... BUT I WAS WRONG. Haha.
Saturday started off with a lazy note. Finally, for the FIRST time in the past month, I could sleep till 11 in the morning. OMG. It felt SUPER UBER fantastic sia. Haha. I was practically lazing in bed till 11! Alright, for those people out there who think I'm nuts, wait till you start work in a school and you've wake up at 5 plus for the whole week. Hmph.
Went to Shawn's new home @ Kovan Melody to try out the new gym and some sort of private jacuzzi room. COOL stuff man. I would LURVE to own an apartment there. Swimming pool's gorgeous too.

We had lunch @ Heartland Mall's Yoshinoya. I haven't been there ever since I left secondary school. Yikes. Memories memories...

Call me sua-ku, but it was the 1st time I tried out the Swedish meatballs and fried chicken wings from IKEA(the new one at Tampines). Didn't know jam goes well with the meatballs and sauce. Interesting. :)

Was invited by Wayne(aka Koflow) to see him perform at Zouk. But I was too tired (and maybe a little sad) to go clubbing. Ah well.

Was asked to go see him perform (Yet again) at the Esplanade on Sunday. AND yes, I didn't go again. Shiat. Feel abit bad about it; Mel and I always don't turn up for his real performances. But we did see him practice table-turning once. VERY COOL I must say. He's good. :) Alright, I just decided. If Wayne EVER asks us to go see him perform, I'll make an effort to go.
Went for UV-suntanning at this studio near Clarke Quay with Shawn.

Pink toilet @ Suntanning Studio... Cool huh?! I wonder if the Men's toilet is pink too. :)

Pretty cool place; saw several gays... Good-looking muscular gays. Oh well, too bad for us girls. They're REALLY hot.
Met Mel & Joe again at Courts. We were fooling around ALOT... As usual.

Magnus made me this poodle balloon thingy.

Mel got a bear... It looks like a dog with a bear face. HAHAHA...

The humping bear and poodle. HOW cute right.

Mel's openly molestation. Not that Joe minded it. He seemed to be enjoying it, on the contrary. :) Lovebirds...

So unglam right?! But I like... HAHA.AND i had meatballs and this biam cake. Can't really remember the name, but it has solid caramel bits, custard, chocolate and cereal all in one. FREAKIN nice. You guys should go try it. ^_^
OMG. I'm taking an entire day to finish this entry. After 1 or 2 sentences, I get pushed with some task to work on.

It's over... finally.

Yesterday was SO dramatic.
OMG. Like, seriously, thank goodness Garrett was there. Or else you'll see my picture in the orbituaries. HAHA. Of course Mel put in lotsa effort too, though I wished that she wouldn't be that aggressive.

But yeah, things got pretty heated up, sad to say. I really don't want to say too much abt it, cause I don't feel comfortable trying to recall the whole string of events. :( It's quite saddening... And tiring.

Ruperto only called me later that night, when I was feeling much better. But hey, better than nothing. Apparently he left his phone at a music studio, which explains why he took several hours to get back to me. AND, he's on his way to KL last night. So jealous of him; I wish I could just take a break off work and just relax under the sun tanning and losing my lard(aka calories). :)

But yes, Darius and I are just friends. Period. No more comments, no more questions.

What else is there to say? Hmmm.

This week has been really rough. I just want to go drinking or something. Get all of it off my mind. Hmm... I could do sth, like,

1. Go drinking again with Jasper, provided that he's free sometime SOON.
2. Ask Garrett to arrange a Spongebob Squarepants Monopoly game meeting. Realised that it really takes my mind off reality.
3. Wait for Pert to return from KL, and when we meet, I'll just start bawling and letting it ALL out.
4. Disappear for a while. Leave for some ulu island where I meet total strangers and start afresh. And then come back to Singapore 10 years later.
5. Turn lesbian... Actually, nah. Maybe a new eye-candy would do the trick... MAYBE.

SIGH. Didn't sleep well the night before. Surprise surprise. Well, it's a whole new beginning. I have to get on with life. Anyway, it doesn't really matter. Cause PJ told me that I do have a Prince Charming coming along! Yay. How exciting. Hopefully he does come out soon though. I'm dying out here. HELLO... Damsel in distress...

She was right. I'll get hurt so much to the extent that I wouldn't be able to love the guy who'll truly love me in the future. Sigh. What a bitch I am. Ah well.

Wet gloomy day

Eugene said that the dress looks pretty nice. Hmmm... Now, I'm really tempted to get it. Damn. :)

Met up with PJ yesterday evening for dinner AND dessert. Shiaat man. All those bits of weight which I lost thru illness & jogging probably ALL returned back to my already fat body. Had fried yong tau fu, AND a muddy mud pie @ Coffeeclub. Sigh. Now I know where all my excess weight's coming from. PJ's been feeding me ALOT. Haha.

Anyhoo, I felt a lil better after speaking to her. Not that it made me any wiser to come up with a decision. I just felt... less guilty? I don't know. I just felt less stressed. Cause ever since that wholet thing started, I'm quite upset with myself for breaking the pact somehow. SIGH.

PJ said that she thinks it'll be better if I have someone older than me, like... 20 -29, cause I think like a 24. HAHA. How cool. Didn't think my prediction from the past would actually be right. I used to think someone older for a boyfriend would be nice, instead of someone whose age is similar to mine or lesser. AH WELL.

Met up with Eugene @ Starbucks after that whole dinner cum talk. We were trying to plan out the games for NSR, with much difficulty. We were stoning most of the time, and looking at his friend who's working there goofing around with various customers - Gays, lesbians, Ah lians, some guys who said 'fuck' every few seconds. Haha. What a fulfilling night right.

The guys who were sitting nearby were talking abt clubbing just made me feel a bit depressed. Sigh. Yup, Darius was going clubbing. He's a frequent clubber. (Clobber, clubber.. Haha. Sorry, a lil lame. But I'm just trying to cheer myself up. So cut me some slack. ^_^)

It's so weird how things are between the both of us. At this point of time, even I myself can't explain in logical terms what the heck is happening. Maybe I can put whatever's on my mind in point form. It should be easier, I think.

• He has ALOT of friends. Can't rmb most of their names.. There's Ping, Jo, Jo's hot petite girlfriend whom I haven't met, Darius' best friend who's female, Judy, Paul, uh.........Can't rmb any other names. SEE?! I can't rmb their names! Like, there's too many of them; I'm super duper confused.
• His friends are rich. And I'm pretty sure most of them think I'm ugly. Never bothered to ask Darius what his friends think anymore, ever since that incident. Shattered my self-esteem to lowest bottom of the ocean.
• He spends most of time hanging out with friends and spends most of his money when he's with them. Like, I can still rmb when we were still hanging out as friends, we met up almost every 2-3 days with Garrett, Su & Mel. And now, it's totally different. I see him at the VERY most, once/twice a week. Ha. I guess when the status changes, the commitment changes too. The only thing that's good abt this is that I know he's a fantastic friend; Friends before Girlfriend, just like me.
• When we talk on the phone, we don't talk. Ha. Most of the time, it's just... silence. Or he'll start smsing people on his hp, he'll call his friends to talk while I'm still on the line, his friends call him to hang out and he'll put me on hold... Shit like that. OR, he'll start asking me why I'm not talking. Haha. Funny fella la this one.
• He says that he loves me. And this morning, when I called at 6 am (He probably just returned home from clubbing... Surprise surprise.) to check if he's alright, he said it again, in a extremely serious and sober tone. Sigh. I would love to think it's true. BUT, with friends like Mel telling me otherwise, it just hurts me even more. Like, I'm stuck.
• He doesn't want to be friends. It's either a relationship, or we're going to be enemies. Haha. PJ said it's typical of an 18-yr old to say that. :) I can accept that comment, cause it does make sense. But when you're hoping to find some comfort in friends, and they just fire back at you, I get tired of even trying to explain things to them.

Alright, I just spoke to 4 different people on msn. Haha. All the conversations were like.. bullet speed man. Ha. :) At least I'm feeling MUCH MUCH better.

I'm in love with this dress...

From Mango. It looks VERY VERY pretty! Fell in love with it instantly when I saw it. But it's 99 bucks... for a dress. Shikes. But seriously, I wouldn't mind paying more for this.

AND, it's flowy and doesn't show off my HUGE hip. How kewl is that?! Haha. :)

Jasper said that it's too colourful for me though. Shiat. Just for that comment, he's already making me re-consider. Louis said he trusts my taste, which isn't very reassuring actually. Haha. Gonna make him come with me and see the dress for himself.

Tuesday was quite fulfilling. Watched this super reflective movie called The Red Cockatoo. Russian movie, filled with various utopian ideas. Interesting movie really. If I'm not wrong, it's M18. Not sure why. I mean, there were several sex scenes, but nothing serious really. Oh well. And guess what, we watched it at The Cathay's Picturehouse, which meant that we can't eat or drink in the auditorium... Which is VERY cool; we didn't hear any munching or slurping. Total focus on movie for 2 hours 15 mins. Whoa...

Waited for Jasper till about 8 plus cause his client suddenly called him up. Poor Jasper... He looked SO tired when he finally came over to Marina Square to meet me. After MUCH deliberation, we went to Carl's Jr. Actually, he was suggesting Carl's Jr and rejected ALL the other places I suggested - Kenny Rogers and... uh... I think I only suggested Kenny Rogers. Haha. Oh well. But anyway, I was nice and gave in to his bantering.

BIG LESSON LEARNT: NEVER EVER eat Carl's Jr's Beef chilli cheese fries and go drinking after that. OMG... VERY severe consequences man. I'm not going to specify much. The secret's between Jasper and moi. :)

Timbre was pretty quiet, though there were several groups scattered around. There was this duo playing and singing live. Shiat. They can't whistle for nuts. But they play & sing really well. :)

That's Jasper for you. :)

Tried the Illusion drink Darius recommended. Pretty nice. And yes, it's definitely a feminine drink. Jasper had house wine. We were chatting abt nonsensical and interesting stuff. It was fun. AND, he sent me home. Gentleman indeed. Sigh. Some guys just need to learn that sending a girl home is VERY important, whether the girl's your girlfriend or not. ^_^

Alright. Not going to continue further. :) Ciaoz.

I'm in love.

Yeah, Pastor Jules said that.

Honestly, I didn't realise that I was stuck in it already.

Shiat.

It's all over my face, she said. I'm lovesick.

DAMN.

Busy busy weekend

As usual, I didn't get much rest during the weekend.

Thank God I still recovered from my bad cough. Coughing like I was choking on something the whole time was SO NOT glamorous... AND it's tiring.

Saturday was filled to the brim.

First I had this non-academic achievement interview @ NTU. Went there the week before for my selection test cum interview for Mass comm studies course. Took a cab down on both occasions. Haha. :)
Anyway, I waited for an hour, to be interviewed for 10 minutes. Quite retarded, but oh well, guess it was worth it. Three lecturers asked me question after question. They probably wanted to test if I could think on the spot. Don't ask me how, but I was trying to answer their questions without much "Uh..." and "Ah..." to the extent that I had to say that I had a pet which just died and that prompted me to contemplate volunteering @ SPCA. But it's true to some extent. I am contemplating to go to SPCA to help out... Once I'm free-er. :) Sigh... Busy me.

Overall, I guess the interview was pretty smooth. Fingers crossed for now.

Had to take the train ALL THE WAY from BOON LAY to TAMPINES after the interview.
OMG.
Damn long trip man!!!! Shiat. What am I to do if my mom still insists that I can't stay at a hostel?! Yikes.
Anyway, back to the point.
Met mom and granny @ Tampines' Din Tai Fung for lunch. Honestly, I'm not a fan of xiao long baos. But because grumpy granny was craving for it, so I decided to not be such a bitch and just go along with their suggestion. SIGH. I feel so different from them. My whole family loves durians. I don't eat them unless I'm the hungriest person on earth. They absolutely adore kueh stuff. I don't even touch them. Feel like I'm not from the family. BUT THEN AGAIN, I look like my mom, as ALOT of people mentioned. OH WELL.

Walked around with them for a while, before I went off to meet up with Shawn for dinner @ Vivo. Sweet fella. Sigh. Too bad he's catholic. Even Mel thinks highly of him now.
BUT ANYWAY... (Shiat man, I keep going off-topic)
It wasn't time for dinner yet, so we went to Page One; that's one very cool bookstore. Shawn was going ga-ga over the interior design books, I was feasting my eyes on design books. Took a few snaps of the COLOR HARMONY LOGOS and THE ULTIMATE LOGO COLLECTION. Oooo...

Cool huh?!!!

We had dinner @ this extremely dim-lighted restaurant, called 2HOT (Halal by the way, pretty good food). It's so dim to the fact that the ambience doesn't have the romantic feeling. HAHA. Thank goodness for camera flash. :)

We were bored waiting for our food, so we decided to play around w candid shots. We're BOTH camera whores. Heh.

Love their lemon tea though. One of the nicest I had so far. ^_^

Oh oh. We had this chocolate pudding with vanilla ice cream at this sweet-looking cafe. They actually serve breakfast ALL DAY! That's damn cool. I'm a fan of scrambled eggs and sausages and pancakes etc etc. But since I was freakin' full from dinner (maybe I'm just trying to cut down. Wanna get rid of my lurve handles). If I was like... 48 plus kg right, I would LOVE to try all the cakes and pastries there!!! SO delicious-looking!

Presenting... CHOCOLATE PUDDING WITH VANILLA ICE-CREAM!!! TA-DA!

Hot AND cold combination's heavenly...

And it's not THAT sweet. Just nice. Sigh. Would love to go back there again to try it again! :)

THEN, after this whole cool dinner outing w Shawn, I went over to visit Darius. He had a fever. Sigh. Poor lil boy. Thankfully it subsided right before Pert, Jasper and Nate picked me up. :)

What I've just described is only Saturday's timeline. My weekends are even busier than weekdays. BUT I LOVE IT! Hanging out w friends and tiring myself out w them's definitely a million times more fun than working and being nice to idiotic people. UGH.

In Open Fields Of Wild Flowers

In open fields of wild flowers
She breathes the air and flies away
She thanks her Jesus for the daisies and the roses in no simple language
Someday she'll understand the meaning of it all

He's more than the laughter or the stars in the heavens
As close as a heartbeat or a song on her lips
Someday she'll trust Him and learn how to see Him
Someday He'll call her and she will come running
And fall in His arms and the tears will fall down and she'll pray

I want to fall in love with You

Sitting silent wearing Sunday best
The sermon echoes through the walls
A great salvation through it calls to the people who stare into nowhere
And can't feel the chains on their souls

He's more than the laughter or the stars in the heavens
As close as a heartbeat or a song on our lips
Someday we'll trust Him and learn how to see Him
Someday He'll call us and we will come running
And fall in His arms and the tears will fall down and we'll pray

I want to fall in love with You
It seems too easy to call You "Saviour"
Not close enough to call You "God"
So as I sit and think of words I can mention
To show my devotion

I want to fall in love with You

My heart beats for you

by Jars Of Clay

Massive headache & Dead throat

My headache's killing me.

To make it worse, I've been coughing non-stop AND my tummy muscles are getting sore from all the coughing.

Help.

Anyway, I was on my way to school earlier this morning in a cab. Was stuck in traffic jam as usual. When I was about to leave the expressway, I saw those man-made cow thingies on the hillside. Like, they used to be just white and black-spotted cows. Now, they're like... personifications of Bruce Lee, Marilyn Monroe etc etc. Super duper cute! Have a picture of them, but can't upload it as of yet. I'll do it another time. Maybe I'll take a cab down tt area again to take a closer and clearer picture. :)

Just had a short breakfast with daniel and 2 other relief teachers. Interesting time actually, cause they bitched abt some students in the primary school. HAHA. Funny.

Nowadays, i seem to be surrounded by rugby boys most of the time. Maybe it's because I'm working here in ACS Pri, the guys I hang out w are mostly from Rugby; Daniel, Keith, Yinxiang & Gary are also from rugby if I'm not wrong. Oh well. I used to find that sport abit violent and scary. Like, I can imagine blood spurting out everywhere, bits of teeth falling out of the boys' mouths etc. Stuff like that. Sounds gross. Ew. HAHA...

Shiat. My headache's getting from bad to worse. Maybe i'm dehydrated, that's why. Hmmm...

Oh yes, the new addition to my wishlist!
I want a pair of RayBan sunglasses, sth like Garrett's.
I didn't think I look nice with it initially. BUT look,

It looks pretty cool to me here! Hee. I wanna have one pair too. Brown or black shades - I still can't decide. They both look SO pretty!!! Oh, that's mel by the way. Pretty best friend of mine. Sometimes I wish I was thinner, like her. Sigh. To each of his own. Can't complain. Haha.

Texas

OMG. I didn't know Texas has such wonderful scenery of wild flowers and big fields! Ever since some incident happened, I've been having this really interesting image in my mind - A lil girl was running around by herself in a really big field that was filled with millions and millions of wild flowers. Although she was alone, she still seemed so happy...

ANYWAY, check this out!

Bluebonnets with a sky like that. OMG. If only I was there in person...

White corn poppies. Cute flowers, cute name. :)

Seriously, I would do anything to have a house with a backyards like these. SIGH...

You know, this reminds me abit of the Garden of Eden. Flower paradise and the Forbidden tree. OOOO.....
You know what, f*** guys who give flower bouquets. Give me a house with a nice backyard garden, and I'll marry you straight away. :) YAY!

Restarting everything... AGAIN.

Forget about my previous blog. I somehow couldn't log into that account with the same username and password. So... I'm restarting everything AGAIN. This time, I'm not even going to bother about putting up a colourful blogskin yada yada. Looks simpler this way. Less hassle. :)

Anyway, life's been pretty alright. Lots of ups and downs.

Still single. I think. Haha. :)
Let's just say I'm not available.

Been hanging out ALOT with the new friends I met when I started work @ ACS (P). Like, Darius, Su, Garrett, Das & Priya of course. It's been fun. Sigh. Now that most of them already left for poly etc, I feel all alone again. Oh well. At least we did promise to meet up soon... For clubbing. HAHA!

I'm branded as THE ice bitch now, by some of my friends. But I mean, come on, at least I smile ALOT more these days! :) Sometimes i just can't help giving that du lan face, since it's been a bad habit of mine for the past decade. Haha. Yes, i'm turning 20 this year. SHIAT. Time flies. Almost 1/3 of my life just flashed past me. SCARY....

I seriously cannot wait for school to start!!! Just went for a selection test and interview last weekend @ NTU; I have to go there again for a non-academic achievement interview. It's so strange how NTU rejected my application straight out last year, and now they're giving me quite a bit of attention. Ah well, at least something's good happening for my university application. I'm more excited for NUS' reply though. Then again, I would be very tempted if NTU actually selects me for the Mass Comm degree. Pretty cool, cos that was what I wanted to do initially when I was younger.

I've been shopping alot. Spent lots of $$$ on transport (cabbie), food (splurge on restaurant food) etc etc. BUT FOR THE 1ST TIME, I didn't spend a single cent when I went clubbing with mel, teoxu, su, garrett, das, gary, pet and a few other people whose names I can't seem to rmb.. And oh, darius too. Just that he was a bit busy w his rugby friends. Ah well. But it was FUN!!!! Alright, if you were with us on that day, it was some sort of a mini drama series. Quite a bit of tension and drama. BUT, bottomline - it was FUN! The guys were getting a bit too horny though. Wahaha! Mel, you know what I mean. Naughty naughty... Heh.