Without Dad around, then everytime after service Mom'll be alone. As much as I want to like, go with the churchies for lunch and then hang out, I don't feel good. I wish I had a Singaporean dad. Makes things way simpler. Oh well. No such thing as simple for a life like mine.
Recently, I've been going out with Mom for lunches. It's not that bad, really. Firstly, I don't need to pay. Secondly, the time spent with her is kinda productive. Like, we'll talk about school, life, food, idiotic people etc etc. But now I feel awkward and out of place with the Youth people. Just standing outside the sanctuary with them makes me feel oddball-ish. Like, I feel unlikable. Recently, I feel that people don't like hanging out with me. Maybe I did something to offend/irritate them. Afterall, humans are pretty judgemental. I'm one myself very often, so I don't blame them. I'm just glad that I've still some friends around to make me feel a little comfortable.
Things have been pretty stressful. Tuitions, production practices, schoolwork, revision work. Overall it's just the monthly scheduling for my own work/life that keeps me uber tensed sometimes. Oh yes, and the self-financial planning too. It's hard to save up when you don't have much to begin with. I mean, yes, I have several tuitions and stuff. When you add everything up, and minus stuff like food, transport, extra expenses on occasions like cabbing, more food, daily essentials. It's hard to get money out of moms. So I'll have to depend on myself if I need to spend extra money on necessities. But I must say I feel extremely thankful that I'm still alive, eating well (the fat issue aside) and a shelter over my head.
Was just telling my mom how I wish I was rich during my 20s instead of childhood. Haha. Wishful thinking. I know I was well-provided/protected/fed when I was kid. Thing is, I can't really remember alot of happy stuff. I remember things like the family tiffs and the caning more. Haha.
Life's been tough. But I guess I'll live through it. I am pretty sure this won't kill me. The most my grades for this semester will suck again. That would really make this year horrigible.
It's kinda true. I've never really thought about it this way, but like, how would I know if we're still together till August? Planning for a trip like this is kinda risky I guess? But oh well, already arranged it with his mother. So can't really back out now. And I don't want to. Haha. Not that I feel extremely confident of the relationship. But yeah, I trust God. I know sometimes I seem like I don't trust you. But I am trying to put action into words. Just don't put me in the worst circumstances that will really test my patience, okie? Cause that will be defined as taking advantage of the situation and ill-treatment.
2 tuitions. 1 piano lesson. Band prac. Movie night. Yay. Fun-filled saturday. Notice that there's no homework/revision scheduled into Saturday's timetable. HAHA.
