I feel like there's this battle going on in my mind the whole time for the last few days. Been thinking too much about stuff, maybe.
But I feel boring all of a sudden. Like, when I hang out with people one-on-one, I feel like I'm boring the crap out of em. Even in a group, I can hardly find myself to talk much these days. Sigh.
Just prayed that God'll give me the strength to settle this problem. It's really affecting me; I'd feel really down or something out of the blue. Makes matters worse in some occasions.
I wish I was more sociable. I wish I was more simple-minded. I wish I feel happier doing simple things like just walking down an empty but quietly peaceful road. I wish I can just smile at the slightest thing that crosses my path. Cause at this point of time, I don't really like the way I am now.
As much as I appreciate the gift of playing the piano, I wish I can do much more. I don't know how to describe it, but I feel like I can do better.
Maybe recently I feel friendless or something. Like, this sudden inferiority complex thingy pops out of nowhere. Maybe it's the weight issue. Haha. Or maybe it's the studies. SIGH.
I wish I know why I'm acting so weird, so at least I can get rid of the root problem and start acting like a normal person.
