No more 7 days a week.

It feels more like a 5-days-a-week these days.

Cause the weekend's like, crossed out for church. So when people study on mainly weekends, I study on weekdays, during breaks, particularly on Monday and Friday, when I've no tuitions.

Can't really say that I'm busy. I just cross out 2/7 of a week. So that means I've only 5 days a week for productivity - school and tuition (except the sat morning tuitions.)

My head's hurting terribly. My throat's phlegm-ish. And my nose is running like a water tap.

Ruperto's moving over to Bedok. 419. Yay. One more supper kaki. :)

I think sometimes I really am quite mean to the c.e.b.
But really, sometimes, the c.e.b can't detect things that are bad stuff. And it makes errors without being able to analyse what's wrong with its system. Then it just continues operating as per normal. And then it makes the same errors again.

I wish there was an upgrade thingy available for it. Oh well. Crap I am spouting. Rest then I should get.

:(

I wish I was a smart whiz, so I don't have to worry this much abt my studies.

And with that, I can actually focus on other stuff. Like slimming down and having a social life. I feel so dependent on certain people and things. So like when something goes a lil out of my original plans, my whole day'll be screwed up. And I hate screwed up days. It's such a shitty feeling.

And the fact that I need to be mature and get over that shitty feeling makes me feel even shittier. :(

BLARGH!

2 important tasks to complete before June.

Lose my lard. I can't stand being so fat. I don't wanna return to my sad days.

Study hard. So I won't screw up my semester like what happened the last time.

Yup. I'll chiong all the way! Then relax and chill out in June... Hillsongs... Wahahaha!

His hair so tootee-toot.

Random comment for a title. Haha.

Sigh. I've loads of readings to do (both compulsory and optional ones) and I've this econs tut which I don't know how to do. Like, how to answer the questions???

I feel dumbie.

New Year's coming; so is Valentine's Day. Sigh. I really wished Fab's around. But I guess I won't be able to celeb both occasions with him for the next few years. Ah well. The bane of having a boyfriend who doesn't exist in Singapore half the time. HAHA!

He better be here when I celebrate my 21st though. If not... HWAH. I'll be sooooooooooo disappointed.

I've a 3-day week timetable, and yet the feeling of going to school sucks. Haha. Maybe I should stay in the hostel. I'll be more hardworking... I think. Haha! BUT THEN AGAIN. Staying in hostel means I can't give tuition. And that would majorly suck. Because my mom doesn't give me enough to make me feel financially secure. And I won't be able to save up. AND, I won't be able to buy stuff as and when I like. I'd rather a substantial amt of money to be in my bank acc all the time. So whenever I see something which I really really really want, I can decide if I really really need it, instead of having the sucky feeling, "DAMN. Now I've to save up FIRST, and then hope that no one grabs it before I do."

And that was what happened when I saw this Lacoste bag. Sigh. If only I had the money in my account. The bag will be in my possession right now.

OH WELL. Back to reality...

It's not a matter of forgive and forget.

It's more of having the feeling of being forgotten, like being pushed to the side when other people come into place. It's sad, because on one hand, I know it's not deliberate. But on the other hand, it hurts a heck lot when the person doesn't even realise that you're hurting and he sees that nothing's wrong.

Sucks man.
Stewpid shiat cock-eye bear.

"I'm telling her sorry that I pissed her off. You know... Girls."

Hwah. Talk about being unconventional. Now I'm just one of those girls. Thanks. Biatch.

Anyhoo, I think it's just a lil setback to push me down from tmr by you-know-who. So I shall just leave it up to God. What will be will be. Band prac was pretty smoothly-run this afternoon, which I'm sure was blessed by Him.

Praying real hard (Alright, not THAT hard.) that everything turns out alright later at service. I need to meditate a lil though. Push everything else aside, and focus.

(Now I realise why sometimes Janice can just sing and close her eyes the whole time. I can't do that for the whole period of worship-leading, but yeah, I can see more with my eyes closed. Paradox. WHOA...)

I really hope this cock-eye bear cum stewpid shit bear connection will turn out good. Cause it would really, really, really suck mother-big time if it doesn't. Put in too much effort; letting it go will be like, the very very very last option. Unless. Someone does something extremely stupid. Oh well.

Trust, trust and more trust. Love, love and more love. But at the end of the day, it really depends on Him (in Heaven. Not on earth.).

(WTS am I blabbering abt? Gosh. I need rest. Chao.)

Lucas' birthday party

Slipped off my mind until Grace reminded me to post up the pictures. Here you go! Lucas' 21st. A nice romantic dinner at this restaurant situated in 'undergoing-construction' and 'full of soil and sand and nothing else' Pasir Ris Park. Not alot though. Cause you guys were complaining about my 'too-bright-to-handle' flash, so the rest of the snaps is by Lucas' cam. :)

The birthday boy who permed his hair. We love you for you are, no matter what.

Heck of a night.

MOS was a lil boring initially, cause the SDE people were having this pageant thingy. The only nice thing abt it was that Jasmine was taking part, so we kinda cheered for her and all. No surprise, she got the title Ms Hot Bod. Haha.

Met alot of Grace's friends; some of them are from my year's batch or course. Of course for such a 'dao' person like me, I only stick to my cool group of girlfriends. Haha. But, yes, bottomline, it was pretty fun. Free booze, played the finger-guessing game which Grace branded as "Hokkien game". Hung out with Jasmine, her friend, and her friend's clique; we spent almost an hour talking to this group of peeps cause Grace wanted to talk to this particular guy from China. Haha. The whole night was fun; half the time we were dancing with people we don't know. We just shake hands, say hi, introduce ourselves, and WA LA!

We eyed this pair of guys, cause one of them was caucasian, and he is very very very hot. Valerie slowly moved the group towards them, and then chatted with him. Then yup, we found out that they were gay.

Oh, and we saw a guy making out with a tranny. HA HA HA! Right in front of us on the dancefloor. Omigosh.

WHAT A NIGHT.

I was up till 6 this morning though. Haha. Was trying to burp all the gas out, and I ended up drinking tea and eating cup noodles while trying to talk to Fabian on skype. No iPod needed this time before I sleep. I knocked off as soon as I got off the phone with him. Haha.

No more beer for now. I feel fat and bloated and icky.

God does the impossible.

I was just referring Ron and Shi Yun to this verse; wanted them to be ready in a calm way for the upcoming 'O' level results this Thursday.

And I just realised, like JUST, 5 seconds ago, that it applies to my situation now.

Sam just emailed me regarding the songs I chose for this Sunday's worship for Youth service. Said they were all too hard, and that the band may not be able to handle them.

WOW.

Read the verse if you're free. I think this is one of the most captivating verses to me... So far. I'm not a very wide-Bible-reader after all. Mark 9:24. Oh, Matthew 19:26 too.

Total trust. Shikes. Easier said than done. Nonetheless. I'm going to try. :) Child-like trust - The most innocent yet the most powerful because nothing can break it.

Miraculously.

I got all my 1st-choice tutorial slots. Praise God! Woohoo. Now it's confirmed 3-day week. Yay. Now all that's left to do is to make sure I study hard during the 2 free days I have. Kampatei!

I was so blown off by the whole internet connection last night/this morning. Cock-eye bear got the shiat, which I'm terribly sorry for. Sigh. But yeah, I just hate it that I've to leave matters to another time to settle. Procastination. I think I'm getting pretty anal. Haha. BUT OK, I think I gotta fix that lil problem.

Called the MIO people. I got this Bangladesh worker. Damn. A lil funny, cause he wants me to connect my mio box with my laptop with this yellow cable. The thing is, I don't have one. AND, the mio box is in the living room. My lappy's in the study room. HAHA! I think I pissed him off, cause I was acting a lil stewpid. But come on, not everyone's tech-savvy. :) SO YEAH!

Well, at least now my laptop's finally cleansed of all torjan horse thingy. Or whatever you call it.
Alright. School time!

FREAK.

Opened that STOOOPID file Shazleen sent to me. Now, my whole laptop's screwed. Gotta reformat and delete every freakin' file in the lappy. STUPID HACKERS!

Bet loads of people are cursing me right now. I think a few of them actually opened the file.

ARGH! STUPID HACKERS. You guys obviously:
1. Have nothing else better to do than to make people's lives miserable. Which is pathetic. Your lives must be pretty miserable.
2. Have no talent other than hacking, which is equally as pathetic. You guys should go for bloooody enrichment classes. I'm sure there're more purposeful things to do other than this. Come on, even old folkers learn line-dancing or something, which is million times more logical than this.
3. Are freakishly desperate for money. Cause you rather do this hacking thing and be cursed by people all over the world for the rest of your human life instead of finding a stable job which may actually make a POSITIVE impact on people's lives. Gosh. What've you guys been doing. Smoking/drugging your money and life away eh?
4. Extremely desperate for peer acceptance. Do you seriously think hacking into people's computers will score points for you in social life? Guess what, YOU DON'T. Surprise surprise. What, were you expecting people to go, "WOW. You're smart!" when they see you hacking into other people's private information? They'll probably stay even further away from you, fyi.

Sigh. I just feel a lil better. Cause I'm having a killer-headache; been brain-strained over this stewpid 'virus' thingy.

All I know now, is that God did this for a reason. And it's for my own good. It better be a good reason. Haha.

And yes, I've cock-eye bear to help me through this trying and tiring period. AWWWW. Hugg. I owe you one, oeach!

The rash isn't leaving.

Gosh. It's really frustrating to see em still hanging around. Never got it this serious actually.

And fantastically, there's a bash this coming Friday @ MOS. Shall I just skip it? But it's like, I'll be ps-ing Grace. Oh well. If the rash situation really worsens, I don't have much of a choice.

I feel pampered. No credit to my parents. Now my dad's thinking of getting the Macbook Air... For himself. DAMMIT! Haha. Oh well. I want to have one too............

I can't believe I'm saying this. But nowadays, I feel like one of the luckiest girls in the world. Just that my school grades suck, and I've to earn my own keep, and I'm pretty fat-butt-ugly. HAHA! What contradictions.

Anyhoo. Yes, I do feel pretty lucky having certain gifts and blessings. For one, I can actually still study at a university. Second, I have food on my table, and a shelter to cover my big fat body. Third, I have pretty cool friends because sometimes they take quite a load of shit from me. Well I have to take quite a big pile from them too. Especially Ron. When's he ever going to learn. He is going to end up eating his own jokes/make-fun-of-people-to-feel-better shit one fine day. But then again, I hope his O levels won't screw up. It's like a love-hate thing. I wish I can just hate him with all my guts. But as a friend, I can't, because that would be wrong.

Okay, back to my original point. And yes, I'm glad some people was brought into my life... Like Humper and Snail-whale and Kaw Kaw. Alright, they're not considered people. Oh yeah, not forgetting my cock-eye bear. Did you think I was going to leave you out? :) Oeach.

The semester just started, and I've motherload of readings to do. Well, they're supplementary. But considering my grades from last semester. I think I got to buck up a lil bit. So yeah, more studying and reading, and less eating out till like, 12 am every other night. And no more skipping lectures. Sigh.

This semester is going to be a good one. :) Optimism rocks... For now.

OMG OMG!

I think I'm going to sell this laptop to my dad. Since he wants one. THEN, I'll get the new MacBook Air. OMG OMG OMG! HOT.

Anger management.

I think sometimes I have anger management problems. Haha. Maybe I've been bottling things up for quite a while, so when everything comes up, they come in full-blow.

Oh well.

Can't wait for retail therapy end of this month. Oh, wait. I got to save up. Ah. Shiat.

It's frustrating how Alina is like... Passive. She was supposed to give me call. Maybe I should go look out for another teacher.

I just need a sign. Just tell me. Should I or should I not.

School has started. DUH.

And Fabian's left early this morning. Double blow. Haha.

Anyhoo...

I've nicely arranged my timetable to a pretty nice 3-day week. Hopefully I can keep it that way. And I can focus more on my studies despite the tuitions and all. SIGH.

Now I'm looking forward to the holidays after the exams in early May. I miss the holidays, when everyone from overseas return, and there's no school matters to look into for a while. I miss the slacking-ness. Well, at least I was tutoring during the holidays. So I'm not so much a bum.

I was dozing off the moment I sat down in the train on the way back home. Better yet, I was constantly bumping towards the peeps on my left AND right. Sheeeet. So embarrassing.

YAY YAY YAY!

Can't wait to get my hands on that so-cute-and-cuddly carebear!!! :) THANK YOU.

Loads of things to get done before Tues morning arrives. SIGH. That time has finally arrived, again. Have another 2 1/2 years to go. Kampatei!


ANYHOO. No one's willing to be director over the PA camp this year. Damn. Was hoping to be some games comm or group leader. It was SOOO fun the last time round. DAMMIT. :( Sigh. This sucks.

:)

Last night's convo was the best I had this year. Haha. It's only been 11 days since 2008 started. :) Heck. Note to self: God in the centre of all things.

Bidding's a lil pain in the butt though. Haha. At least saint Chris is helping me out. Or else I'll just crumble under the pressure of those stewpid seniors who show off their magnificent account points.

I want to save up.

But it's SO freakin' hard.

Hopefully this year I'll have more discipline. Cause if I do, I can definitely afford to do many many things. Yay. Considering the no. of tuitions I'm taking up this year, well at least, half of this year, I'd seriously be damn pissed with myself if I use EVERY cent of the money on food and clothes and stuff only. That would mean that I'm eating too much and also mean I'm putting on weight. Haha. I want to use the money during more applicable occasions - Aussie pre & post Hillsong Conf, and hopefully I'll save up enough for my own tic to UK. SIGH. BIG BIG BIG BIG dreams.

Why am I so freakin' ambitious this year?! I don't want to end up eating my words at the end of the day. That feeling would definitely suck. BUT. Not sure if I have the correct gut-feeling, I think this year will be fantastic! FINGERS CROSSED.

I feel small again.

Not literally small/petite-sized. On the contrary, I think I'm putting on weight.

Anyhoo. I feel like a small lil stupid ignorant kid. I need to grow up. In many many areas. And I'm already going to turn 21 this year. Shit. I feel old but stupid.

Although I'm still young and anything can happen anytime, I really really hope this will work out. Everything seems nicer and better. I'd just be super upset with myself if it (touchwood) doesn't work out.

Cheerbear!

My most wanted stuff toy this year: The cheerbear. :) It's so adorable. I can't help smiling whenever I see it.

The new year is here. Finally 2007 got over and done with. Got through all the shit I was supposed to get through. Learn the stuff which I had to learn, through the highway. Loads of highway lessons for me that year. And the last day of the year was a lil sinful. But guess what. It's over. It's a new year now. And I'm ready to change whatever needs to be changed. It's going to be an exciting year, I hope. A good one, at least. Haven't had any good-good years so far. Every year was tinged with a horrid incident. Hope this year is going to break the record. But oh well, I wouldn't know that till the year gets over and done with. So we'll see. Hopefully I'll continue blogging here. So at least I can look back and see if this year is turning out well. :)

Kudos to all those who made my 2007 year more bearable. I have never, even for a minute, taken you for granted. Thank God for you all, really. Too many names, so I'm not going to specifically mention anyone. You know who you are. :)

Now let's get this new year started. Loads of exciting things coming up!